Dear Stay-at-Home Mom Who Doesn’t Think She is Enough,
I am not writing this from a place of expertise. Actually, I have only been a stay-at-home mom for 5 short years.
And I can tell you that it has been one heck of a ride. A fun ride, but a bumpy one with highs and lows.
Some days I wake up feeling grateful and ready to take on whatever the day brings.
Other days I am watching the clock until my husband gets home so I can have a few minutes to recharge and reset, and not go absolutely bat-crap (new phrase) crazy.
Some days I find myself talking way too much to anyone who will listen (sorry, 20-something, grocery store checker), just because I am a little bit starved of adult conversation.
I never planned on being a stay-at-home mom. My journey started somewhat haphazardly.
I was climbing to the top of the career ladder when I had my first child. Life changed as soon as I looked into my daughter’s eyes.
Yes, I chose to stay at home with my kids. I didn’t give a second thought.
But there are still days when I feel like I am not enough. Like maybe being a stay-at-home mom isn’t the life for me. Because I am not enough.
On some days I feel like I am simply not doing enough. Like I can do better and more, and better and more.
I can parent better, I can provide more. I can keep a better house, I can take my kids to do more.
Better and more. Those two words have made me weary. They have made me feel like I am not enough.
Mom guilt sets in on most days, and I over analyze my parenting skills, and sometimes my lack of parenting skills.
Moms, we have to cut it out. It’s time to stop feeling like we are not enough. It’s time to nix the guilt.
It’s time to get better and more out of our vocabularies.
Can I be a better parent? Absolutely! But, does that mean I need to feel guilty about the parent I am? Nope.
Can I do more for my kids. Yes! But, does that mean that I don’t do enough right now? No!
We can always be better, we can always do more. But, don’t look so hard at what you aren’t doing that you miss the awesome things you ARE doing.
Even on the days when we simply “show up”, we are still enough. We are still the perfect fit for our kids.
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On the days when we don’t plan Pinterest-worthy birthday parties or dress our kids in name-brand clothes, we are enough!
We are enough when we snuggle our kids on the couch. We are enough when we “let” our kids watch hours of YouTube. We are even enough when we lose our tempers and say something we regret.
You see, the thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that our kids are going to see the good, the bad and the ugly. We are imperfect people. And as much as I try to improve, I still lose my ever-loving mind some days.
It is no fault of my kids. They are usually just being kids.
But, this ugly “I’m-not-good-enough” snake creeps in and starts to take over my day.
I feel guilty about things I said or did and I beat myself up so badly about it that it becomes a vicious cycle of less-than stellar parenting.
I feel guilty because I don’t financially contribute to our family and then I wonder if maybe I should get a job outside of the home.
But, I am making a promise to myself.
I am starting each and every day by telling myself that I am enough.
I am enough when I overreact to my kids, raise my voice and have to ask for forgiveness.
I am enough when I don’t let another toy find its way from the store to our house.
I am enough when I simply need a break from the day.
I am enough even though I don’t bring home a regular paycheck.
I am enough when guilty thoughts creep in my head and make me feel like I am less than.
I am enough.
And so are you.
We aren’t going to be June Cleaver. She was fake. And even then, she had her own downfalls as a mom.
Being a stay-at-home mom is challenging.
And it is also beautiful.
So let’s quit the “I’m-not-good-enough” self talk and concentrate on the beautiful lives that we are creating with our kids.
We owe it to ourselves.
We are enough.